May 18, 2011 we arrived about eight in the morning at Dublin Airport, welcoming us was the very cold wind that really went on to my bone. My children were so happy when we arrived after nineteen hours trip from Manila.
Way back then, our life is not that so simple as it was here now. We have our families, relatives and friends to hang around, weekdays were such always a busy days for me then I used to go work and I have to prepare stuff and things for children and do some household chores before leaving the house… that what way back then, but here now. It much more simplier than I could imagine. I wake up each morning preparing the packed lunch of my husband. No rush… I still manage to drink my coffee and have moment with God and say my Novena Prayers. I guess this must be a start of a more meaningful life being a wife and mother of my children, after all I wasn’t able to do this way back home. I started to be sad in some dull moments but I get up and lifted my chin to see how much space I got between my family and myself. I am only wishing things will be the same as before but it was too late … I have already given up things that I used to have…friends , close families, my dog, the car that I used to drive … the marathons that I missed for Summer and my morning TV craze watching 2 movies before going to work. All were gone in just one blink of an eye and when I wake up today a I see myself eating a toast bread with strawberry conserve on top of it of course with my coffee. I say that I am not adjusted yet as to what to do and where to go here. I found myself in a little nook where I can alsmost feel myself typing so fast in my laptop. I guess that what is called opportunity cost… that I have to give up something in order to have the things that we have waited for so long to happen.
This journey marked a new beginning in our life, for my children and for myself. I guess this is the starting point of my long run towards my goal of being a mom to them. I can see rough roads ahead of me as I continue to run fast… I better slowdown and feel the cold wind and the beauty of nature that Kildare has. As I have been here for one month now, exactly as I continue to add in this journal, I begin to understand why I have to hurdle much pain the fact that I got what I have wished for… a family in one roof sharing dinner together , having fun before going to bed. That is much more that we have hope for. Maybe I have the selfishness within my heart. I think more of myself and what I have lost along the way knowing that I got the most in my life.
